


On Being a Droit

by Akzeal



Series: Dib Calls the Tallest [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Bad Parent Professor Membrane, Biophilia, Dib doesn't know what he's getting into, Found Family, Gen, Nutrition
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-24 16:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akzeal/pseuds/Akzeal
Summary: After calling the Tallest for 4+ years, and even visiting them, Dib continues to deal with life on Earth as things become more and more complicated. And is he missing something?
Relationships: Dib & Bob, Dib & Professor Membrane, Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), The Almighty Tallest & Dib
Series: Dib Calls the Tallest [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212752
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	1. The Journey Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey- I hinted at it, and a sequel has appeared. If you thought things were working out too neatly in Dib Calls the Tallest- yeah. Also, I have not finished this, so this will be fun!

The  _ Massive _ had been, well. Massive, let it never be said that Irken names weren’t accurate after all. Dib’s time there had been fascinating, too, surrounded by Irkens who, contrary to his early expectations, had been respectful. Of course he wasn’t foolish, he knew that a large part of that was because his Tíos had barely let him out of their sight, but that was okay. He’d been there to visit them, after all. Well, that had been  _ his _ plan, Dib still didn’t know what to make of the whole ‘Droit’ thing- Official status, the ability to come and go from the  _ Massive _ itself at his own whim.

“What thoughts are in your big head, Dib-thing?” Zim asked, breaking Dib out of his thoughts. They were on their way home, and Dib had to admit he was looking forward to that. And, weirdly enough, finishing his ‘mission’, curious if he  _ could _ .

“That it’s gonna be weird going home,” Dib answered, honestly- they were usually honest with each other, and it was surprising how… civil their fights were, really. “How about you, how was it being back?” His first time back, and Dib knew it had to have hurt. Zim finally understood how he was viewed, and Dib still wasn’t entirely sure what had changed- it wasn’t just plants and Nisil’s help, he knew!

Zim clicked a dismissal, and waved a hand. “Of course I was glad to be there, but the welcome will be even sweeter when I defeat you! And bring zoos and baked goods to the Empire!” he answered, and he wasn’t  _ wrong _ . Dib was very glad he didn’t have to explain the full relationship he and Zim had to any non-Irken!

“Yeah, as if you’d have any time to do anything before I beat you, menace,” Dib shot back, punching in a few last commands before pulling back and stretching. The skin still caught on his chest, the only mark left from that, and Dib knew how very lucky he was.

“Can we at  _ least _ save the fighting until we’re on a planet? I know it’s asking a lot of both of you, it has been nearly a month…” the last member of their little group spoke up. Nisil had been… well, normally Dib would say a godsend, but he didn’t believe in any gods and he knew perfectly well who had sent her. At only a few inches over two feet, she had no right to be so terrifying, and yet even Zim hadn’t said a word against her size.

“Wow… When you put it like that, it really has been a while,” Dib agreed, nodding at the auditor.

“Ha! Time used to  _ plan _ !” Zim said, but he was grinning, and while Dib was sure that his nemesis had certainly planned a little, he was more sure that Zim had spent most of his time half-high from just  _ being _ on the  _ Massive _ . Being around his people again.

Like Dib, Nisil just smiled, more than familiar with their rivalry. That was what it was, too, as much as that word somehow sounded more innocent than what had been between them to start. At least the trip back shouldn’t take long, and as Nisil suspected, they could always find a small planet if they really felt the need to fight.

They managed to reach Earth without any stops, and Dib wasn’t even worried as he lowered his ship- which he still thought of as Tak’s half the time- into Zim’s attic. Zim’s base had been expanded after Nisil had arrived, a necessity to house the three spaceships now present, and to account for the fact that, for many practical purposes, there were now two Invaders on Earth, even if neither of them actually had that rank.

A few moments later, and Dib was out the door and taking the familiar path home. He no longer worried about the fact that what he was wearing was  _ entirely _ Irken-made, because it wasn’t that different from what he’d been wearing for years now. It was still weird seeing people walk by with the same leggings, something he wouldn’t have even noticed if he hadn’t upgraded his vision. Irken fabric reflected differently in UV.

“Hey, dork. How were they?” Gaz asked when Dib came in, eyes flicking from her game to him for just a moment.

It was more of a welcome than Dib had expected, and he flopped on the couch, smiling. “It was… pretty good. ...Really good, actually. They decided to surprise me with… well, not rank, really, nothing’s changed on my end…”

“Rank, huh? Is this like the remote ships you told me they offered?” Gaz asked.

“I… don’t know? Though that’s still an option, I know that much. You’re the high score to beat at the academy, Red told me,” Dib answered, laughing a bit. He still wasn’t entirely sure if he were ‘allowed’ to use their names, but he’d also been doing it since he was a kid, just not around any Irken- other than Nisil, and only barely then, and she didn’t count for this.

“‘Course I am, dork. You tell me if anyone  _ does _ beat me, I’ll have to school their ass,” Gaz answered. “So, what title did the genocidal tyrants give you?” And despite the words, her tone was fond- but of course it was, Dib thought. Gaz would get along with them really well.

“Apparently I’m not the first alien ally the Empire’s had- which makes sense, Zim’s told me about Vort. Though I guess since I have individual standing, it’s different- you know they actually said I’m not inferior? I don’t think it gets any better than that. Apparently the official title is  _ Droit _ . I can’t quite figure out the best translation of that…” It made sense in Irken, anyway, and Gaz understood that nearly as well as he did.

  
“Cool. At least your uniform has better taste than theirs,” Gaz said. At Dib’s click- he really had picked that up much too easily- she snorted. “Duh you have a uniform. You’ve only been wearing versions of it for years now. And that’s kind of their  _ thing _ , right? Go on, you’ve got homework to catch up on, don’t you? And I’ve got a fucking camper here…” With that, she was lost in the game again, though Dib didn’t leave immediately. He liked watching, now that he was allowed, and liked the way he could just exist without worry- well, most worries. Gaz was still Gaz, after all.


	2. Bees make honey, Zim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things slowly go back to normal.

Returning to school was, as expected, boring. He’d learned so very much- weirdly enough, a lot of it was how to rule, how to give orders, how to imply things… He’d spent almost all his time on the bridge of the  _ Massive _ , so that was probably to be expected. A lot of time had been with the Navigators, and it was those lessons on space that he ended up reporting on, because of course he had to make a report. Dib was good at reports by now.

The  _ very _ weirdest thing was that, somewhere along the line, someone had decided that the Tallest were Zim’s  _ parents _ . Yes, that time on the holo-screen they had also used black hair, with the same purplish eye color, and yes, they’d mentioned that they kept those settings, but… that shouldn’t be enough- but humans were stupid. Dib couldn’t argue that, not after fighting that stupidity and wilful blindness for years.

The next few days were pretty much normal, sitting in class and taking notes, watching Zim, listening to gossip- understanding gossip, it turned out, was key to the sort of Isolation that Dib was doing, both in Membrane Labs and here at skool. At least his classmates seemed to have finally agreed he was sane, and Dib knew he had his Tíos’ advice to thank for that.

He went to Zim’s just to visit Nisil, really- and Gir, who still liked him. Dib still considered the base Zim’s, even though he had his own lab in it now, his own entrance- the computer had, of course, realized that he had the Tallest’s favor, and had finally ended up making his own area. It had been useful when he’d still had to sneak in, and was useful now, with this whole rivalry.

Either way, it didn’t matter now, and Dib walked into the front room just like Zim or Nisil would. Gir was sitting there- well, half sitting and watching t.v., half wrestling with what appeared to be a robotic badger. He knew better than to ask, he really did.

He still asked.

“Hey, so, what plot is this thing from, Gir?” Dib eyed the badger, which was sparking a bit.

“Newest. He’s gonna eat the bees!” Gir answered, surprisingly direct. He always had been, and Dib smiled fondly.

“He’s gonna eat the bees, huh? Ugh, guess I should talk to Zim, too, then…” Dib shook his head, wondering what the plan  _ was _ . One thing to eat a few bees? Or were there more than one of these badgers… and when had Zim planned to give him his opening?

The best way to find out any of that was to just go ask Zim, of course. Dib wasn’t surprised that the menace was in his lab, working on another badger- actually, it looked like re-purposed brain weasels. He wouldn’t be surprised by that.

“Zim! Eating the bees, really?” Dib yelled, settling a bit into a stance. They were in the lab, they shouldn’t fight, and that had  _ never _ stopped Zim in the past.

Zim took a moment before cackling. “Yes! Yes, the  _ bees _ ! The horrible bees, finally I, Zim, shall rid the world of those horrible  _ bees _ !”

Oh- he was actually unhappy about them. Dib hadn’t expected that, but it didn’t change things. He gave a little clicking huff of disdain, shaking his head. “Zim. Seriously? Bees make honey! No bees, no honey! And that’s discounting the way all your favorite plants would  _ also _ die…” For an Invasion, it was a  _ very _ good plan, of course, and Dib was ready to fight if Zim decided to play by old rules.

“What?” Zim asked, frowning, before choosing to hiss and scoff. “A clever trick, Diblet- but you wish me to believe that  _ hone _ y is-” He frowned, though, pausing.

“Computer!” they both called, and Dib smirked at Zim’s irritated growl. He  _ hated _ it when Dib proved he was allowed to use the house computer.

The computer somehow managed to sigh before answering. “Bees make honey. It’s well documented. You don’t wanna know how,” it said. “Please don’t destroy any more of my circuits.”

It was a very polite request not to fight, but Dib didn’t relax, watching Zim until he hissed again. “Ho-  _ why _ \- Curse you, Dib! My brilliant plan, foiled!”

There was another pause, and then Dib clicked, shaking his head a bit. No fighting today, it seemed, though Zim was certainly growling and hissing enough. “Dude. Research, even if you have to do it on your own,” Dib said, sighing. “...Is that all for this week, at least?”

“Ugh, why are you even  _ here _ ?” Zim answered, rubbing his face.

“I was gonna talk to Nisil, but I got sidetracked. You know, Zim… I’m… going to be able to hire an assistant after a while. You’ve infiltrated pretty well, but… you’ve got better ideas about isolation than I do, I’ve  _ seen _ how you do it…” He’d offered ideas like this before, ever since he’d actually started looking into the egoist philosophies, and so far Zim had shut down every overture.

“Ha! You’ve not even introduced g-modding, why should the amazing Zim lower himself to that?” Zim answered. It was actually less final than he had been before, though it was followed by Zim shooing Dib out of the lab. “Go, go, speak to your Auditor,  _ Miz _ .” It was weird to hear him use that name, though Dib was glad they were able to tease now.

Dib wanted to answer that she wasn’t  _ his _ , aside from being ‘his counselor’, and even that wasn’t really exclusive. She talked with Zim just as much, and helped them both. But at the same time- he was  _ tall _ , now, and not human, not fully. Of course, he wasn’t Irken, either, and it wasn’t at all like he was in charge here.

Dib wondered, though.


End file.
